Why being good at something traps youThe spark and the security are not the same engine"But it's the responsible thing"So what do you actually do about it?A few things that genuinely helpFrom the Armory There's a trap that doesn't look like a trap, because from the outside it looks like success. You get good at … Continue reading When You’re Good at Something That No Longer Lights You Up
Author: onyxicca
You’re Allowed to Have Worth You Didn’t Earn
The belief underneath itThe cruelest twist: sometimes work ethic is what breaks youWorth was never the kind of thing you earn"But I really can't do the things"Why this hits neurodivergent and chronically ill people hardestA few things that actually helped meSome books that helped, if you want themIf you take one thingFrom the Armory If … Continue reading You’re Allowed to Have Worth You Didn’t Earn
Why I Built My Whole World in the Dark (Light Sensitivity)
My screens: dark mode everywhereTurning the brightness and the blue light downThe lighting in my home: warm, low, and a little vampyWhat I carry for the lighting I can't controlWhen the accommodation becomes the aestheticFrom the Emberosis ArmoryFrom the Emberosis Armory People ask why everything I make is so dark. My blog, my shop, my … Continue reading Why I Built My Whole World in the Dark (Light Sensitivity)
What Resilience Really Means (It’s Not Tolerating Abuse)
Table of ContentsThe word they twistedWhat resilience really meansNo skilled player just stands thereEndurance is not the same as self-abandonmentA ward against the rigged fightStrong enough to leave Somewhere along the way, the word resilience got twisted into a weapon used against the very people who have the most of it. When I set limits … Continue reading What Resilience Really Means (It’s Not Tolerating Abuse)
Where to Start Exercising With Chronic Illness: Not 5,000 Steps
The part nobody warns you aboutStart with the baseline, not the goalAn observation, not a target Starting with 5,000 steps sounds reasonable. For some people, it is. For others, it is a number chosen by someone else's body. Most movement advice assumes the only missing ingredient is motivation. That if you are not walking more … Continue reading Where to Start Exercising With Chronic Illness: Not 5,000 Steps
Restricting Access to You Is Not Weakness
They called you weak because they liked you unguardedRestricting access is not living in a bubbleWhat resilience actually isYour tired body is already under siegeThe people who mock the gate are why the gate existsCriticism is not the same as being huntedKeep the gate They will call it weakness because they preferred you unguarded. Recently … Continue reading Restricting Access to You Is Not Weakness
Gaming With Chronic Illness Is Its Own Difficulty Setting
The body is always part of the gameThe guilt of wanting to playWhen the healer needs healingChronically Ill Gamer BingoIt counts even when it looks smallFrom the Emberosis Armory Gaming with chronic illness is not just gaming with extra breaks. It is logging in with a body that may or may not cooperate. Hands that … Continue reading Gaming With Chronic Illness Is Its Own Difficulty Setting
The Character They Made of You
There is a type of loneliness that comes not from being unknown, but from being known wrongly. From watching people who have never spoken to you arrive at total certainty about who you are, build an entire person out of a sentence or two, and then respond, sometimes with real venom, to a character they … Continue reading The Character They Made of You
30 Hygiene Products for Chronic Illness and Limited Mobility
Table of ContentsHygiene products for chronic illness: sitting down to showerReaching what your arms can'tLetting the water do the workKeeping shower products at the right heightThe washcloths I useFor the days a full wash isn't happeningSafety, because falls are the real dangerSeeing clearly in the showerHair, which is its own battleHair drying without holding your … Continue reading 30 Hygiene Products for Chronic Illness and Limited Mobility
The Fire Is Almost Lit
For over a year, my website has quietly said the same two words. Coming soon. I am finally able to tell you what it was, and to invite you in before it begins. Between Battles is a letter sent via e-mail and a podcast for anyone living through something hard, a body that fights them, … Continue reading The Fire Is Almost Lit