Why being good at something traps youThe spark and the security are not the same engine"But it's the responsible thing"So what do you actually do about it?A few things that genuinely helpFrom the Armory There's a trap that doesn't look like a trap, because from the outside it looks like success. You get good at … Continue reading When You’re Good at Something That No Longer Lights You Up
Ember Notes
You’re Allowed to Have Worth You Didn’t Earn
The belief underneath itThe cruelest twist: sometimes work ethic is what breaks youWorth was never the kind of thing you earn"But I really can't do the things"Why this hits neurodivergent and chronically ill people hardestA few things that actually helped meSome books that helped, if you want themIf you take one thingFrom the Armory If … Continue reading You’re Allowed to Have Worth You Didn’t Earn
What Resilience Really Means (It’s Not Tolerating Abuse)
Table of ContentsThe word they twistedWhat resilience really meansNo skilled player just stands thereEndurance is not the same as self-abandonmentA ward against the rigged fightStrong enough to leave Somewhere along the way, the word resilience got twisted into a weapon used against the very people who have the most of it. When I set limits … Continue reading What Resilience Really Means (It’s Not Tolerating Abuse)
Restricting Access to You Is Not Weakness
They called you weak because they liked you unguardedRestricting access is not living in a bubbleWhat resilience actually isYour tired body is already under siegeThe people who mock the gate are why the gate existsCriticism is not the same as being huntedKeep the gate They will call it weakness because they preferred you unguarded. Recently … Continue reading Restricting Access to You Is Not Weakness
Gaming With Chronic Illness Is Its Own Difficulty Setting
The body is always part of the gameThe guilt of wanting to playWhen the healer needs healingChronically Ill Gamer BingoIt counts even when it looks smallFrom the Emberosis Armory Gaming with chronic illness is not just gaming with extra breaks. It is logging in with a body that may or may not cooperate. Hands that … Continue reading Gaming With Chronic Illness Is Its Own Difficulty Setting
The Character They Made of You
There is a type of loneliness that comes not from being unknown, but from being known wrongly. From watching people who have never spoken to you arrive at total certainty about who you are, build an entire person out of a sentence or two, and then respond, sometimes with real venom, to a character they … Continue reading The Character They Made of You
The Fire Is Almost Lit
For over a year, my website has quietly said the same two words. Coming soon. I am finally able to tell you what it was, and to invite you in before it begins. Between Battles is a letter sent via e-mail and a podcast for anyone living through something hard, a body that fights them, … Continue reading The Fire Is Almost Lit
Why “Try Harder” is the Wrong Tool for Some Problems
This isn't about games, and it isn't going to tell you to just think positive. It's about the problems that keep beating you, and being honest about which ones you can change and which ones you can't. The games are only a starting point. In games there is a particular kind of enemy that works … Continue reading Why “Try Harder” is the Wrong Tool for Some Problems
Why One Drawer Felt Impossible to Empty
There is a drawer in my kitchen that I have tried to clean out four separate times, and four separate times I have failed. It did not start as a junk drawer. I am not sure any junk drawer does. They become junk drawers the way most things in a hard year quietly become something … Continue reading Why One Drawer Felt Impossible to Empty
Why Ordinary Things Become Hard to Replace
There is a small experiment you can run on almost anyone, and it exposes something they would probably deny about themselves. Find a thing they own that does nothing. Not nothing valuable, nothing functional. The specific mug they reach for when eight identical ones sit in the cupboard, the pen they would be quietly furious … Continue reading Why Ordinary Things Become Hard to Replace